A Familiar Place

Rose sighed. Staring out across the peaceful village from a ledge on the mountain which overshadowed Hogsmeade made her think about her life. Or, more precisely, her lack of one. Sure, she had a laugh, she messed around with her friends, she was likeable enough (she thought). But what exactly was the meaning of it all?

She closed her eyes and drew out her wand, pointing it at her head and murmuring a few, soft words. A few orange and blue threads were siphoned away into her, well-used, worn old wand. The spell was complete. She was safe for today; safe from the madness and the voices and the aching sadness. It would have been a depressive day. She knew that, just the way she knew that yesterday was the end of a manic episode. It was all too much really, and it would be so simple to jump...

But no! No! She wasn't like that. She'd tried it too many times, but things were better now! She was full of life and light and animosity. The smallest things excited her. She turned around just in time to see an old barn owl narrowly miss flying straight into a tree, and have to veer sideways and almost hit another. It was funny, so she laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Several other owls on their way to Hogwarts for the early morning postal rush gave her indignant looks as they passed overhead. But she just couldn't stop laughing.

Gary strolled along the streets of Hogsmeade, having nothing better to do. It was all fine and dandy leaving school, but he had no job so his days were pretty boring. The nights were more exciting, if a little worrying. His other 'half', Aiden, had been getting stronger reccently, causing Gary to have large blank spots in his memory and waking up either covered in blood or somewhere unfamiliar. He shuddered slightly from the dim memories. Someone's laughter drifted to his ears and he looked up to where the sound was coming from. He smiled, catching the blurred figure of Rose. He chuckled then quickened his pace, heading for the small mountain were she was sitting. Once he reached her, he slowed down then crept up behind her. He placed his hands over her eyes and whispered, "Guess who?"

She screamed with laughter and turned herself around in his arms. "Gary!" she cried, not entirely sure of her own mental health at the moment. It wasn't unusual for her to act strangely soon after performing her medical spells. She continued to laugh and threw her arms around his neck, then leaped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and throwing her magnificent head back, grinning from ear to ear.

Gary chuckled and hugged her back. He caught sight of her wand then smiled again, 'Ok so she's just had her medicine, that means she might be odd,' he thought, preparing himself for her. [lol how dodgey does that sound?!] "How have you been, Rose?!" he moved a strand of her hair out of her face, tucking it behind he ear, almost subconciously.

"I've been alright, you know, this and that, the usual stuff for a graduated witch to do." Her voice was oddly husky, and she cleared her throat once or twice. "I'm out of a job, Gary, darling. I've come back here to see if they've got anything, or if I can just live amongst magical people for a while. I could be a barmaid, or something. Madame Rosmerta was always rushed off her feet when we used to go there..." She trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Her fingers toyed instinctively with the hair on the back of his neck. I'm surprised he's still holding me up, but, then again, he always did surprise me with his strength. How long has it been? Too long. Too long.

Gary chuckled, "Oh i never had a job in the first place. Seems that no one wants someone who's crazy to work for them. I'm just making do by wandering around the place. Hogsmeade never tires me! At least i don't have to sleep, that would complicate matters, seeing as i have hardly any money left. Just enough for my drink, that's all i really need. I'm sure you would make the perfect barmaid." He smiled broadly and kissed her cheek, "It's been far too long, Rose."

She shivered, noting the rather false way he kissed her, faking the tenderness. She used to find him sweet, loving, and caring, but now there was just something a little sinister about the way he treated her. Especially after all that had happened in her last year. "I'm...glad to see you're just the same as ever," she said, filling the silence. Her tone was more subdued, as if this subtle reminder of all that had happened in the past was making her suppress her real personality, to be more subservient, as he undoubtedly wanted.

Gary sighed deeply, his breath ruffling her hair. He gently placed her down, letting go of her altogether. Their last year had been a ....bad....one. And he could see that Rose was remembering it now. Alcohol had been his only solution to that, letting his mind get carried about by its warm feeling. And they always say that an old habit is hard to beat. "Rose...." he said, quietly, his voice full of sorrow. It was if he was trying to sum up the whole year in just that one word. Of course he was foolish to think that he could ever apologise for what he had done. Tricked her, used her, made a fool of her. No words could ever forgive that.

Strange, isn't it? That the one person you could always be yourself around is the one person who taught you that yourself just isn't good enough. He's the one who made you pretend to everybody. He made you lie about everything. The old Rose would have slapped him. But you're someone entirely different, she scolded herself in her head, in that annoyingly sarcastic tone she used when she was right and other people were wrong. "Yes?" she replied as if nothing had happened, as sweetly as she could, to try and pretend again. Even to him, she was someone completely different now. The side effects of the medicine had worn off. And now all that was left was the cold reality that nothing except spells could ever make her laugh that much again.

Gary shrugged, what was he meant to say? That he was sorry for all the pain, that he was foolish to ever do that to her, that he hoped everything would be ok now once she'd forgiven him? Of course it wouldn't. Nothing would ever be the same again. He had made Rose someone who she wasn't. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." The times had changed so much. Gone were the days when they would laugh together, when they would sneak into the Three Broomsticks and get tipsy on butterbeer, the long chats by the fireside in Ravenclaw common room, when they were happy, properly happy. 'Not the fakeness which is leaking out of us both,' he thought.

"Hmm," she murmured in that very typical way of hers, which really said, 'I know that you know that that's just not true; you don't have the courage to say any more than that.' She turned away from him, looking out across the town once more, watching the people going about their horribly trivial business. Seeing him here. It had taken her by surprise. She'd let her guard down, let him touch her, let him get to her, after she'd promised herself it would never, ever happen again. And it had made the long drop to the jagged rocks below so much more inviting.

But no! That would be giving in to him! And she wouldn't give in. Not yet, anyway. No.

Gary smiled despite himself. "You'll never change, Rose. Even beneath this character which i made you create, you're still the same. Still the Rose i knew and grew to love." He sighed again and watched her, his gaze flicking to the town below. "I can't begin to tell you how i feel, there are no words to cover what i did. Sorry doesn't mean anything. I just want you to be who you were before, i want you to be you. That's all i ask. I don't want your forgiveness, i don't deserve it." He crossed his arms tightly across his chest, as if he was trying to physically hold himself together, trying to stop himself from running up to her and throwing his arms around her, telling her that everything was going to be ok. 'Because it won't. It never was, and it never will,' he thought.

"Don't you dare try to apologise to me," she said quietly, in the tone she used when she was really angry and hurt, not the stupid, shouting, angsty voice of a teenager. "And don't even think about using the L word. You have no idea, Gary. No idea." She shook her head and crossed her arms in an identical position to him, yet totally oblivious of this fact as she was facing the opposite direction. The light breeze lifted her tar-black hair - still long and left as nature intended. It was, really, the only part of her that she had kept the same. She rarely wore her characteristic red lipstick anymore - although her lips were red enough without it - and her clothes were much less extravagant. Less of the beautiful dresses, and more of the plain jeans and skirts. Even down to the smallest detail, she was ashamed.

Gary flinched from her words slightly, each one feeling like a stab at his already tattered heart. 'A heart which you tattered yourself,' he thought angrily. He sighed again, deeply, then looked down at the ground. "I didn't come here to ask you for forgiveness. What i did was unforgivable. I just had to see...." He shook his head, "Never mind," he murmured more to himself. "Goodbye, Rose," he said quietly. He walked up the her and squeezed her shoulder, before pressing a smooth cylindar into her hand. "Just be yourself," he breathed in her ear, before walking away.

[i hope you can guess what it is XD]

She breathed in quickly at the feel of his approach. Her skin shivered, her hand shook. "Thank you," she murmured, almost inaudibly. She squeezed the cool metal tightly in her hand, remembering the familiar feel of this particular familiar object. As soon as he had disappeared, she raised the object to eye-level and smiled. Maybe he was right. But, no! No! Well, maybe only on special occasions... Smiling to herself, she tucked the smooth lipstick container inside her top.

Gary walked down the small mountain slowly, not really concentrating on where he was heading. His thoughts whirled around his head, they would never be the same again, he knew that and hated it. They had been close, more than close...much more. But, as per usual, Gary had messed it up. For his own selfish need he had tricked Rose into believing he was Sammael. 'She had always loved him and not me,' he thought, bitterly. Sammael had gone, but would that mean she would love him? He shook his head, "No, never," he muttered.