The Aftermath [Gary And Rose]

"Right then, let's get you to bed," Rose giggled as she helped Gary up the stairs in The Three Broomsticks. Just like old times again: sneaking around, him drunk, me less drunk, falling down stairs. Luckily, no one saw this rather embarrassing scene as the bar was practically empty, save for a few regulars who were sitting at the bar and to whom the stairs were not visible. Finally, they managed to make it to the door of Rose's room. She fumbled with the lock for a moment, having to search around in her dress for the key - there were no pockets and she had forgotten to buy a bag that matched - before they were able to get in. When they did, she immediately let go of Gary and collapsed onto the bed, laughing, and almost rolling off.

Gary laughed loudly, collapsing on the floor and rolling about. He wiped a tear from his eyes, still chuckling slightly, "Ohhh Rose, you didn't need to bring me here. I'm perfectly fine," he said, his voice slurring slightly.

"Of course I did," she replied quickly, much more serious and sober now. "Hark at you. You're drunk, and I didn't want to leave you on your own. How were you going to get home? Where even is your home?" She stood up and busied herself with the various spare blankets in the wardrobe, arranging them neatly on the floor next to her bed for Gary to sleep on. As she bent down to do so, she was suddenly horribly aware of the length - or rather lack of length - of the skirt of her dress. Alice, Faith, and Rose had bought beautiful flowing gowns for the wedding, then charmed them to have a detachable skirt part to make dancing easier at the reception. Rose's charm had gone somewhat astray and had made her dress grow gradually shorter over the course of the evening. It seemed to have stopped now, at around mid-thigh length. "Stupid thing," she muttered to herself, not really minding that much. After all, it was only Gary. He wouldn't perv [spl] on her, would he?

Gary stopped his laughter at Rose's tone. He found it amazing how quickly she could go from drunk to sober, it took her just a matter of seconds. He glanced away when she bent over, then cleared his throat slightly, "Umm well just out and about. You know that i never really had a home, well i have even a less of one now." He said it quite cheerfully, not having a home had never really bothered him that much.

"Mmm, I suppose," she murmured softly, finishing the bedding and standing back to admire her handiwork. "There," she announced. "Your bed, monsieur." She brushed her hands down the front of her puffy skirt, rubbing the dust off of them. "Well, I know it doesn't look like much, but you weren't expecting us both to squeeze into mine, were you?" she joked, smirking.

Gary chuckled, "No, of course not. And that will be fine. Thanks for this Rose." He smiled broadly at her then stood up and helped himself to the chair which was in the corner of the room. He crossed his legs neatly and smiled again, "So how have you been?"

"Why do you always ask that?" she said, sitting down on her bed. She wished he could have sat closer; she hated talking to people across a room, even if they were the only people in it. And he's got very serious all of a sudden. I thought he was off his head. "I've been fine. I would say I've been better, but that would be a lie. I haven't really spoken to anyone - and I mean anyone - since...school. It's just nice to come back here and see that people still know I'm actually a single woman, if you know what I mean, and you do know. It's so hard, living with muggles. They're incredibly superficial, and I'm not really good enough."

Gary's smiled broadened, "I like to ask because i like to know. Well at least you got to see some people at the wedding. If it's hard to live with them, then why didn't you stay here? It would have been easier, don't you think?" His eyes felt heavy but he managed to keep them open. Of course, Champagne always made him sleepy.

She looked away immediately, lowering her head in shame and embarrassment. "You know full well why I didn't stay here," she murmured, in a low, submissive tone. It was all that she needed to say. They'd talked, that day she'd come back, the day on the mountain. Yes, they'd talked, but it wasn't solved, was it? It wasn't fixed. Everything in Hogwarts reminded her of him. Every spell she used reminded her of him. He'd ruined everything, and yet he absolutely refused to take the blame. He'd nearly got her pregnant, he'd lied to her, he'd tricked her, he'd ruined her. And yet, for some unknown reason, she couldn't hate him. She was still under his spell; the spell so alike to the Imperius Curse.

Gary's smile faded and he looked down at the floor, sighing deeply. "Yes, i just hoped it wasn't," he murmured. He had completely and utterly screwed up her life, but how was he meant to apologise to that? Say it was going to be okay, that everything would work out, when he knew full well that things would never be the same again. Sorry just didn't quite cover it.

She closed her eyes. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm just going to shout and shout and shout. Then, maybe, he might just get the message. She opened her eyes. "You hoped it wasn't?" she said, raising her voice a little and looking up to meet his eyes, anger and hatred bubbling up inside her. Not that she could ever, ever hate him, just hate what he did. "You hoped it wasn't." Her she stood up, taking a couple of steps towards him before opening the gates and letting everything rush out, like an exploding volcano. "I cannot believe you just said that! After everything, everything that YOU did, you have the nerve to come in here - drunk, as bloody always - and not even give me one f*cking apology! Don't you get it? You ruined my life! I can't do magic because of you! I can't live among wizards because of you! I have to stay with muggles, pretending every day that I know nothing about magic or vampires or Hogwarts or you! Well, I'll tell you what, sometimes I wish I bloody didn't! I work as a f*cking waitress in a jazz bar! Me! Me - who you said would go places, who would be famous! I'm serving food and singing the blues to people who have nowhere better to go! And it's all - your - fault!" She screamed the last few words, leaning forwards and staring at the floor once she had finished, not caring about the view he might have of her body now, panting, a little breathless after pouring her emotions out to him. "And the least - you could give - is an apology. I don't even - get that. You told me - you loved me - once. When I thought I was pregnant. It wasn't true."

Gary stared at her, surprised by her outbrust. The horrible thing was that it was all true, every single word of it, he knew it was, and hated himself for it. If he had said sorry, then it wouldn't have made anything better, if he hadn't then it wouldn't have made anything better. He just stared at her, stunned for words, but knowing he had to find some quick. "Rose..." he murmured, then stood up bending down slightly so that they were at eye level with each other. He placed his hands on her shoulders, hesitantly, "Rose, you have no idea how sorry i am. But how can one word make any difference to what i did? How can i possibly expect you to forgive me for everything i've done?" He placed a hand on her chin and lifted her face up, "I was not lying when i said that i loved you. And i'm not lying now. I love you, Rose, I love you." 'She's either gunna shout again, shove me away, or maybe by a small tiny bit of a miracle, she wouldn't,' he thought.

First she was angry. She stared him down, not willing to give in to any of his cr*p, as it all undoubtedly was. Then she just collapsed against him, crying and crying, not quite hugging him and holding him close, but not pushing him away either. She just cried, sinking slowly to the floor until she was on her knees and her head was in her lap. Then came the calm after the storm. She thought how stupid she was, and how stupid she looked, too, prancing about in this stupid little dress. It seemed surreal to her that half an hour ago she had been at Faith's wedding. She wanted to shout at him again, but there was no anger left inside her. She wished she hadn't cried, because then there would have been some ammunition, and something left for later, some resentment left over to continue her bitter grudge, but she'd given in, just as she'd promised herself she wouldn't - just like she promised she wouldn't all those years ago, about an entirely different thing.

Gary pulled her close to him and stroked her head against his shoulder while she cried, whispering, "I'm so sorry," in her ear. When she had finished, he let her go, watching her as she slowly sunk to the floor. He was kneeling now himself. He wasn't quite sure what to say or what to do, so he just let her stay like that. What else could he do?! He knew that he would have been crying himself but he had spent 4 years crying over every little thing that he had ever done wrong in his whole life, and so his eyes stayed dry.

"I forgive you," she said, in a slow and shaky voice. "Of course I forgive you." It sounded like she was confirming it to herself as well as to him. "How could I not?" She didn't move, she just stayed there, curled up on the floor, feeling strangely empty and worn out. It frightened her that all the anger she'd built up over the past four years could come out at once, just as quickly as if everything had happened yesterday. She'd never really been scared of people shouting, and now she understood why: it was all false. She was scared of it when she was young because it was loud and frightening and people were different when they shouted, and it meant that she had done something wrong. But now, it all seemed a bit pathetic. It was just trying to prove to the other person that you could shout louder and with more fury than them, and what was the point of that?

Gary was - once again - stunned by what she had just said. 'She forgives me?' he thought over and over, the words not sinking in. "How could you not? I can think of plenty of reasons why you shouldn't forgive me," he smiled slightly, then shuffled towards her. She looked so young, so weak, curled up in that ball, that he had an overpowering urge to just hold her in his arms. He lay down beside her on the floor then wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her body to his [yay spooning].

Quickly, she shrugged him off. "I said I forgave you. It wasn't an invitation to touch me," she muttered testily. She could feel her sanity blurring at the edges and beginning to become harder to grasp at. It always began like this; like clutching at water. She could hold some, but not as much as she originally thought and it soon trickled away so she had to reach out blindly and grab at it again, like some kind of perverse game of Blind Man's Bluff. Her hands shook as she pulled her knees tighter to her chest. All she wanted to do was lie there until the feeling went away. But then...her eyes fell upon the bed she had made up on the floor for Gary. The blankets were not quite perpendicular, not quite straight. And they were dirty. So were her hands. This whole room needed cleaning. Now...! But if she stood up and began cleaning, her mind would slip away, she was sure of it. The times when she realised she was losing her mind were always much worse than during an episode. During an episode - even a depressive one - she had no idea it was an episode. But now, now she could see what would happen, and how foolish she would look, and how much chaos would ensue. She was frightened. Petrified.

Gary didn't move from his spot, his arms tightening around her. She wasn't right and he knew it. They had been best friends since the start of school, he knew when things weren't right, she acted differently, although only slightly. Some people might not notice it but Faith and him always knew. So he just ignored her comment, feeling as if he was trying to hold her together, like if he let go now she would fall apart...

"I told you to let go." Her voice was quiet, but the note of anger was still there. She didn't move, or try to push him away, just warned him. He should know better than to push her. He knew as well as she did when an episode was coming on, yet he tried to act strong and brave for her. If only he would understand that that wasn't what she needed! She didn't need his dirty, grubby arms around her, and his hot, heavy breath in her ear... It was all so familiar, so like that night...

Gary hesitated slightly, there was definitely something wrong, she was angry with him for touching her but he still had that horrible feeling that she might fall apart. He sighed gently then let her go and shuffled away, standing up and sitting back in the chair. He watched her carefully waiting and watching for the episode to start. He stayed silent, not sure whether he should speak or not, afraid to upset her further.

She lay motionless for a few moments, almost as terrified as him. Then she closed her eyes. It felt like drowning; like being sucked into the darkness. She sat up. She smiled. "Come on, Gary, this whole place is a mess! Let's clean it! Now!" She giggled cheerily, jumping to her feet and starting with the mattresses, aligning them perfectly. She dashed around the room, making sure everything was straight. "Now, I'll just go downstairs and ask for a cloth and some water to scrub the floor and the walls!" She skipped towards the door, and tried to open it, forgetting she had locked it. She pulled on it, but it refused to budge. The lock rattled with the force of her attempts to get it open. It simply will not move! Why will it not move?!...and she collapsed to her knees, crying in desperation.

Gary sighed, 'Oh dear not again,' he thought, 'this must be what its like for Rose whenever Aiden comes out, expect scarier.' He stood up and walked over to her, "Rose, the room is not dirty and you don't need to clean it. How about a nice cup of tea or something?" he smiled at her gently, holding out his hand to her.

"No!" she screamed, lashing out behind her and feeling her hand connect with considerable force with his face. She hadn't meant it, but she couldn't control her strength. She felt her normal self trying to escape for a moment. "Gary, Gary, I'm sorry," she managed to say in her usual voice. "I'm so sorry! I forgot my spells this morning; I was so preoccupied with the wedding...I'm so sorry! Look in my trunk, there's a sheet of parchment with them on, down the side. Could you? Please, please, please?" She sounded horribly desperate, and she clutched at his trouser leg as she begged him.

Gary ignored her slap and just smiled again, "Ok Rose. It's ok, don't worry. We'll have you better in no time at all." He prised her hands away from his legs gently then walked over to her trunk. He rumaged around it in for a few moments before finding the piece of parchment she was talking about. He looked at it for a few moments, a frown on his face. This was the confusing part.

"Quickly, for f*ck's sake!" she snapped at him, irritated and suddenly furious. "What the hell are you doing? Can't you even do a simple medical spell, you complete idiot?!" She clenched her fists and stood up, grabbing a fistful of his shirt near his collar. "You'd better f*cking hurry up," she said in a quiet, menacing tone.