Looking After The Baby..

"I don't trust Vampires Tonks.. and you have enough to handle with.. three on the way.. Teddy needs care and I can do that.. I have every needed.. well as best that I can do.. I will think of something when the moon comes but I won't put him in danger.. I get told I don't see him enough.. well this is perfect.."

Tonks shook her head. "I don't see why not, they're perfectly docile" she sobbed. She ran a hand through her hair, before looking at him. "Give me Teddy" she said quietly. "I can care for him; I'm his mother. You have nowhere to take him, and I know full well you'll take him to the forest. Where more than likely Fenrir will kill him" she said sternly, then sighed. "I don't want to hurt you, but he's my son too and you're not taking him."

".. you think I will take him there?" he said looking at her with pure rage building in his eyes "... how dare you think I would do something like that! I don't want him growing up with the life I had! I will go to Hogsmeade or to my old cottage where I grew up near the woods.. no one knows about it other than Sirius and Pandora.." he said keeping his arms wrapped around Teddy as Teddy hugged him and rested his head on his chest.

"Because you're still on your ... mission" she said idlely. "Why is it, I can forced to work for a month and come back to this; you shouting at me, assuming I'm having an affair with Carlisle Cullen because he listens to me, and get my son taken off of me by you. Yet when it happened to you, I accepted it and got on with things" she retorted, gripping her fists together. "Without us both, he'll grow up with a worse life than what you had; blaming You for taking him away from his mother" she snapped. "I want Teddy back, and I want him now!"

".. you don't know my family.. my father was the reason I am like this.. and I have no mission.. I went there because I thought you were dead.. or left me.. I didn;t know what to do.. thought I lost it all.. wasn't the same.. then all this and what was I meant to think.. lost Pandora before.. I can't help.. if I think it's happening again.. specially with a vampire.. I know what they are like and what they can do to get what they want" Remus looked down at Teddy and rubbed his back and rocked him a little as he started to cry. "..We are not the same persona and we react differently due to our past.. that is why Tonks..."

"And yet I stayed here when I believed you to be dead; waiting, knowing you'd return someday, because you'd never leave our son, as I wouldn't" she said quietly. Tonks rolled her eyes and muttered something in an angry tone under her breath. "Get this into your head Remus. I will NEVER sleep, or have any intimate contact with Carlisle. Nor Edward, Emmett or Jasper" she said sternly. "I hadn't even thought about that until you accused me of it" she snapped. "Why do you discriminate them so much? They each have their soul mates, I would never do anything to ruin that for them, and nor would they leave them, when they are so deeply in love with each other" she explained, her voice once again breaking. Tonks sometimes wished her relationship could be like Esme's and Carlisle's. Everytime they saw each other, they embraced each other; never having fought in their lives.
"Oh, what are they going to do to swoon me? Bite me and release their venom into me?" she muttered sarcastically. "They hold nothing over me and never will; Carlisle listens, which is more than can be said for you." She sighed and looked down. "Please, let me have Teddy. Let me hold him; he needs feeding" she explained in a soothing voice.

Remus just looked at her and then walked past her to the front doors ".. Fine... but what you have said to me has been enough to know what you think of me.. affair or not Tonks..I listen and help.. that is who I am and if you keep telling me I don't listen.. then you are telling me I don't know who I am.. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting.. getting others to help me look for you while looking after Teddy.. I was a mess with worry... I needed to get away.. you left on the honeymoon.. that night.. I thought I had been so drunk I did something for you to leave.. I am going and Teddy has been having the bottle since you have been gone he will be fine..if I give him to you.. I don't think you will let me see him.. I am too scared to risk it...I just want to spend some time with my son..."

"You take to many things to heart Remus. I'm contemplating now whether it was a good idea to have Teddy now" she said, choking on the sentence. "If all you wanted him for is to take him away from me ..." she trailed off, before bursting into tears.
"I could never keep you from seeing your own son, but you are too me. Why?" she bawled, as tears flowed silently down her face. " I didn't leave you" she insisted, begging was easily recognised in her tone. "I was forcibly removed againsn't my will to work undercover in a hospital, tracking a rogue wizard."

"I am not taking him from you not to see again.. I never said that.. so don't think I am like that as I am not that cold hearted Tonks... I just want to be with him and protect him... I have no job.. nothing to keep my mind off things anymore.. other than Teddy... I want to look after him.. I don;t want to be here and for us to argue all the time... its not far on him..that is all.. not because I don;t want you to see him but to be with him and to save him from this.... you are doing the same.. why can't I look after him, he live with me.. what is so different.. other than you think I am going to give him to the other werewolves!"

Pandora didn't want it to seem like she was putting her nose into their business. But she was really getting worried, as she sippded her whiskey sitting in the other room. Though she wasn't eavesdropping their voices did carry in the large house.

Remus looked down at Teddy hating to see him crying ".. I am going to put him upstairs..not fair on him to be here when we are arguing." He said kissing the top of his head before leaving the hallway and going up to the room where Teddy had been staying while he had been living there. Remus just wanted to get something sorted, if they were to break up or not.. just wanted time for it to calm down to think properly..before rushing into things. He leaned on the crib and looked down at Teddy after tucking him in.

Tonks shook her head; taking a deep breath to try and keep her emotions in check but was failing miserably. "I not see him, you know it" she whispered, before closing her eys. "You know, sometimes I wish I could just ..." she didn't finish the sentence, not wanting to say it.
"Why do you have to take him, to look after him and protect him? He's my son too, you have no right to take him away from me."
Tonks watched him go, before sliding to the floor and curling up in a protective ball like a child in the womb. She didn't want to hurt anymore, she wanted it to go away.

It was several minutes later before Remus came back down the stairs.. looking more calmer than he had been ".. I didn;t want him getting involved... its got nothing to do with Teddy.. it's us.. we have the problems.. right now.. I think we need to, go our ways... just for a day or so.. calm down.. think and then trying and talk.. tell each other things about one another just to clear it from out minds... and work on it... what do you think.. and I am sorry for what I said.." he said looking down with glazed tearful eyes ".. I thought you were dead.. then I heard you were having more children.. by someone I have never met... my mind is a little.. strained and I am scared...."

"I would of rather of been dead, than not to have been here with you and with Teddy" she said honestly, but that still didn't stop the tears. Tonks nodded. "You can stay here ... with Teddy, and I'll go stay with Carlisle ... if you don't mind" she said quietly. "He was my boss for the month I worked at the hospital. He understood what I was going through; he talked to me. Listened. Comforted me in a way only certain people can. I haven't had that experience with you. I'm sorry for saying that but right now it's true" she said calmly, snivelling.
"Trust Carlisle, he's a friend, and all he ever will be" she repeated from before.

"Please don't keep saying that Tonks.. I can listen... and help that is all I can do it seems these days... I am just tired and stressed and scared.. that is why I have;t been myself.. so just give me a chance..I'm sorry to hear you say that tonks. Maybe we should talk. I want to be ther for you...and I want to be the one that comforts you... as I am your husband.. I dont want you to have to go to someone else.. or there is no point in us being together.. but I will go, I need to get my potion and I might go for a walk.."

Pandora went to the library, it seemed to calm her nerves when she was in there. She made herself a drink from the bar in the corner and scanned the shelves until she found a book of love spells. She then sat down on the lounge chair...sipping whiskey and flipping through the pages, while the fire flickered and crackled...a sound she had became accustomed to.

Remus leaned down and kissed Tonks' cheek before turning and walking into the library after Pandora.
"Have you got anymore of that?" he asked Pandora while he walked towards her ".. need something to numb the pain and my mind so I can start a clean slate.."

She looked to Remus...saddened for him and Tonks both. "Of course", she said giving him a comforting smile.

"How about you relax and I'll get you a whiskey too", she said getting up and pouring Remus a glass. "I have plenty of books in here , to help get your mind away. What I do alot...it's the most relaxing room in the house..well to me anyway. Though I'm a bit of a book worm", she said coming back and handing him the drink.

"Sorry your having a hard time", she said with a frown before sitting down and picking her glass up sipping on it.

"..Well isn't that a part of marriage?" he asked as he recieved the drink from her, forcing a smile "everyone has them..just not had the best of starts.. one of us being away.. then the other.. a lot had happened over these last months...and three more children... I will never get over it.. hard enough with Teddy.. I am terrified...one of them will have to be cursed.. I can just sense it.. what scares me more..." he said gulping the drink back in one before taking a seat across from her on a armchair,creaking under his weight. "...I just want to be the one she comes to... not someone else... what marriage is all about.. "

"Yes it is what a maariage is about", she smiled. I know your stressed and I know it's all hard for you. For you both...now is when you two need eachother.

She thought a moment about what he said. "Yes I imagine one will no doubt, have the curse." Now she felt guilty..very guilty. these triplest could very well be here fault. What she gets for meddling. Why is it when you try to help, you make it worse , she asked herself?

"If one or two or all are...you will be able to deal with it. plus I'll do all i can...I'll keep the potions on hand always, for as long as I live. your nor your children will have to go without a potion. I know thats not the answer you won't...but what is done is done. I just want you to know...I'm here for you", she said then guzzled the rest of her drink.

"..I don't want them growing up the way I did... I want better,,, not to be scared to go out.. to be able to work and not worry about things other don't... be my fault for getting drunk.. never should have.. " He said sitting back on the chair ".. but I couldn't ask Dora to get rid of them... they deserve a chance and I will do all I can to make them happy just hope they don't grow up to hate me for it.."

Tonks nodded her head; just listening, not speaking. "I want you to be there aswell, but I find it hard. A lot of the time you're angry and it scares me" she said honestly before watching him leave; the kiss making her mouth turn into a small smile. She lay on her back before closing her eyes and thinking; thinking about everything.

"They will learn how to live in this world...you are a wonderful teacher. And hopefully before our children are grown...well hopefully, the ministry will be taken over by someone of our choosen and Voldemort dead. I don't think things will be the same after this war has ened. I can only hope we have equalkity for all creatures", she said then took a drink.

Remus refilled his whiskey and gulped some back "I just hope we are still here to see that.. I will do all I can, put my all into making sure we win this if I die doing it.. just knowing they will have a better life.. it will be worth it.."

She frowned at his words of him dying in the process of winning this war. Death was something she didn't want to think about. Especially losing anymore loved ones. Remus was her closet friend and closet to family she had. She closed her eyes and burnt the thought from her head.

She laughed seeing him refill..she held her glass out to him. "Do you mind", she asked with a wink?